Thirteen
by starscollidetonight
Summary: Aria can't seem to get over Ezra, so Holden comes up with an idea to help a little. One shot! Swear the story is much better than the summary. Rated T for mild language. Review!


_**AN: ******__The name of this story comes from a song. Thirteen by Big Star. This song is awfully old, but it just screams Aria/Holden to me and it's pretty much all I listened to writing this. Give it a listen if you have a chance! Amazing song._

**So, I had a Holden/Aria chapter story going on for a while, but I deleted it because I didn't see it going anywhere. Just telling you all in case you all see a bit of material from one of the chapters in this. (Also, I couldn't remember my ff email for the LIFE of me so I had to remake. -.- So this isn't the same account. Sigh.) Anyways, here's a long one shot that took me forever. I hope you enjoy this! Review, PLEASE! I'd love to hear your thoughts. _  
_**

Xxx

_Unrequited love (noun): Being completely, hopelessly, desperately in love with someone who will never return the emotion._

_It's contradictory. The feeling is incredible because there is so much love held for someone, but at the same time, the feeling turns to almost overwhelming despair because the feeling of holding them, touching their face, kissing their lips will remain a mystery. Never knowing what it is like to wake up next to them in bed in the morning, bodies entwined; it can be masochistic in nature—it causes such heartache, but loving the person so much brings an equal amount of joy; people willingly let their heart go through the agony, so they can hold onto something—maybe hope? _

_In any case, unrequited love is a very sad thing._

_Unrequited love is what Holden felt for Aria. It is not what Aria felt for Holden._

Xxx

Aria was having one of "those" nights again. They became less frequent now-of-days, but they didn't disappear, no. Aria was beginning to wonder if they ever really would.

Ezra had left three months ago, with a kiss on the forehead and a simple "thank you" for all the time they had shared together.  
Time wasted, Aria liked to think… but she knew it wasn't. He changed her, for good or bad – he had changed her. She missed him; she hadn't talked to him since he left for home again, for a new start.  
Aria had left him a few voicemails in the beginning, but they were never returned. She missed the shape of his body, the tenderness in his touch, the soft kisses he would give her before she left his apartment.

But, deep down, she knew that Ezra could have never been "the one". She would never say it aloud, but she knew it. She wanted kids someday, the white picket fence life. How could she ever explain to her children that their father was her English teacher?

She pushed the thoughts out of her head and wiped away a stray tear. She didn't want to think about him anymore. Not tonight, anyhow.  
She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contact list, sifting and sifting until she came upon the letter "H". She pressed the call button and cleared her throat, not wanting him to know she had been crying.

Holden was the one she went to when she had these nights. Not Emily, not Hanna, and not Spencer. Aria wondered why she didn't turn to them for emotional support, but with Holden… she felt more comfortable.  
He either talked her through it, listened, trying to decipher words through her choking sobs, or he just sat there in silence with her, until she eventually fell asleep. Aria found Holden's voice more comforting than anything she had ever heard before when she had these nights.

She didn't know why Holden put up with it, or even answered her calls anymore. But Aria loved Holden very, very, very much for it.

Xxx

Holden was sitting on his couch channel surfing with a slouch and a bored look on his face. Holden hated television; it was only filled with sit-coms with too many sexual innuendos, reality shows, or medical dramas. He finally stopped on House and sighed because this isn't really what he wanted either. He was just starting to get into it when his phone started to vibrate, which caused him to jump seeing as how he forgot he had it on him at all.  
The ID read "Aria Montgomery" and just above it had a beautiful picture of her that he took one day when they had gone to the park together. She had somehow gotten a butterfly to land on her nose, and was wearing a grin from ear to ear. She looked beautiful, as she always did. Holden smiled at his phone, the memory rushing back to him. He answered it.

"Hey you", he answered.  
She sniffled on the other end, and Holden's expression hardened. He already knew what it was about. "Hey" she said.  
"You okay?"  
"I'm fine… swear. I think I just wanted to hear you, that's all" She said, with a stiff chuckle.  
"Aria-"  
"I'm okay… I'm okay." Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence, and he felt as if his heart did too. He didn't want to hear her cry another night.  
"No, you're not, Ar." Holden began, and then an idea popped into his head. "You know what, just get an overnight bag – I'm picking you up."  
"What? What about my parents? They like you and all… but I don't think they'll let me go anywhere with you overnight, they still barely let me cross the street on my own."  
Holden paused. Shit, she was right.  
"Uh… Tell them you're going over to Hanna's, make a girly excuse or something; I'll park on end of your street. I'll be there in half an hour."  
She sighed, "Fine. But where are we going?"  
Holden smiled on the other end, "It's a surprise."

Xxx

The whole drive to Aria's, that's exactly all that Holden could think about – Aria.

To Holden, Aria Montgomery was something more than a teenage girl in a simple, small town, no. Aria was much more. You could probably look at Aria Montgomery, talk to her for a few minutes, and find quite a few imperfections – but not to Holden, Holden would argue until sunrise to proof you otherwise. That her "imperfections" we're the exact opposite of that – Holden believed her imperfections made her even more perfect. To Holden, the birds stop to listen when Aria opens her mouth.

Holden remembers the moment he fell in love with Aria. In primary school, the teacher asked if the class knew rhyme, the rhyme about the cow and the spoon. Her hand shot up first. She stood out of her seat. She recited it the class, her voice loud and proud.

Holden also remembers telling his little sister, Janie, about the first time he took her out on a "date".  
He swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel.

_Flashback_

"Wait… let me get this straight," Janie started. She chuckled a little and rubbed her temples, frustrated by her brother.  
"You asked her on a date," Holden nodded. "She agreed and picked where you guys went," Holden nodded. "And she basically used YOU, to see this other mysterious theatre guy?"  
Holden sighed, "I guess."  
Janie shook her head, her brown curly hair rocking side to side, "And you're okay with this? Seriously?"

Holden stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. Of course he wasn't "okay" with it. She used him, he realized that… but he'd dreamt of taking Aria Montgomery out on a date ever since he figured out what a date was.

"Hell no, I'm not okay with this, but Janie…. I love her." Holden paused sat back down and put his head in his hands, "God, I love her."  
Holden always loved her.  
Janie laid her head on her brother's shoulder and squeezed him tight, trying to think of the right words to say.

Janie was 14, she was just figuring about love and all of the things that came with it, but she was mature for her age. And it's not like Holden could talk to his parents about this. Holden had a few friends at school, but none of them really cared to listen about his sobs stories – which he was okay with. Holden and Janie we're remarkably close.

Janie sighed and finally broke the silence, "Look, I know you love Aria. And I know how LONG you've loved Aria. Ever since you could ride your bike every time Aria walked into the room your eyes lit up and you started to stutter your words when you weren't even talking to begin with… But you're letting her use you, big brother."

Holden fumbled with his hands; having too nervous energy than he knew what to do with. She was right and Holden knew it. But what could he do? It's not like he would just let her go. He didn't want to let her go… he _couldn't_ let her go. Aria was the only person Holden ever talked about, thought about, dreamt about. The thought of her with this theatre guy made him sick. He suddenly felt a wave of nausea.  
"If that's the only way I can have her, then I've gotta do it." Holden said without the slightest hint of doubt in his voice.  
Janie only sighed and hugged her big brother tighter than ever before, knowing he had already made up his mind and there was really nothing she could do or say to change it.  
Janie loved Aria, even used to look up to her like the big sister she always wanted, but she definitely didn't like her right now.

Holden glanced at his sister, and from the corner of his eye he saw her eyes filled with worry.  
It only made him feel worse.

_End of flash back_

Xxx

Holden took a deep breath and turned the radio up, hoping if he got it just loud enough; it'd drown out his thoughts.

Xxx

When Holden got to the end of Aria's street, he pulled over, parked and sent her a quick text letting her know he was there.

Around 8:45, Aria said goodbye to her parents, who wished her a fun time at Hanna's. Aria felt as if she had lied so much it was hard to remember what the truth was anymore. When she walked out her front door, the spring humidity hit her hard. The sun had just set and nightfall had fallen upon the small town of Rosewood. She slung her over-night bag over her shoulder and ran to Holden's car, waiting at the end of the street. She had to admit she was curious about where Holden was taking her.

Holden laughed as he watched Aria run to his car, a big smile and waving. She was wearing a Rosewood Cheer shirt and blue jeans, her messy curls falling perfectly around her face. You would probably think she looked simple, Holden thought she looked stunning. When she got inside, she was plopped down in the passenger seat, out of breath.

Holden laughed, "Seriously? You're out of breath from running down your street?"  
Aria rolled her eyes, "Shut up. I'm usually wearing heels every day and when you wear heels, you DON'T run."  
Holden smiled and shook his head, pulling away from the curb and making an extremely illegal U-turn out of Aria's street so he wouldn't have to pass her house.

Xxx

"So, will you PLEASE tell me where we're going?" Aria asked. They were driving through long, back roads that pretty much led to the middle of no-where. Aria hadn't been down these roads since she was little.  
Holden laughed at her impatience, "What fun would it be if I told you?"  
"You aren't going to take me to the forest and kill me and hide my body, are you?"  
"If I was going to kill you, I'd probably dump your body in the river, or maybe a secluded lake." Holden teased.  
Aria tried her best to act offended "Very funny!"

They drove to the outskirts of Rosewood, the country roads that no one traveled down. The roads were old and damaged and they winded serpentine-like. No one really lived out here, mostly farmers if anyone. Aria was peaked with curiosity as to where they were headed; she had all of the windows rolled down, the stereo playing soft acoustic tunes, and her hair was blowing everywhere. Holden would glance over at her ever y so often and take a picture with his mind. He would never get over how beautiful she was, even in the most simple of ways. He never took that for granted.

When they finally got to the large gate, Aria's mouth was shaped into a full "O". Holden laughed at her expression and punched in the code to open the gate. It took a second, but the old rusty gate slowly but surely, finally creaked open. Holden drove through and parked next to a big oak tree next to the even bigger two story old Victorian house. Holden took the key out of the ignition and started to unbuckle when he noticed that Aria hadn't moved an inch.  
He laughed, "What are you doing?"  
"What is this place?" Aria said with her eyes still glued to the house.  
Holden shook his head, got out of the car, and walked around to open her door. "Remember that old girlfriend I had in 9th grade?"  
Aria got out of the car and they both began walking towards the front door "Tiny Tina?" Aria said with eye brows rose.

Tiny Tina got her name for being literally the tiniest girl Aria had ever seen, even tinier than herself. She was four foot tall and had the squeakiest voice. She was also extremely stuck up. Her great grandparents were inventors and Tina enjoyed rubbing her money in everyone's faces. Aria detested her and wondered why Holden ever dated her in the first place.

Holden nodded, "That's the one. Well, anyways, Tina's grandparents owned this house way back when and her dad inherited it after they died. Her dad still makes payments on the house, but hasn't foot in it since they died. I'd bet he still hasn't and all their stuff is still in there, too. I guess her dad didn't have the heart to move it all out. Tina used to always say that this house has been in her family for generations."  
Aria was still taking everything in around her.

When they got to the front door, Holden began digging through the potted plant that sat next to the door. Aria giggled, "What are you doing?" Holden ignored her and kept digging, until he pulled out to what she guessed to be the key to the front door. "Found it! Can't believe they still keep it here…"  
"How do you even know about this place?" Aria asked.  
Holden shrugged, "Tina took me here one time and showed me around. I guess she knew I liked cool places like this."  
He started to unlock the door and Aria stopped him, grabbing his arm.  
"Wait!"  
Holden looked back at her, "What?"  
Aria shifted around nervously, "What if we get caught? This is trespassing, you know…"  
"Aria, I just said her parents have never set foot in here. It's fine." Holden chuckled and she only nodded in response.

He jiggled the old key around the lock a few times until it clicked, and the door creaked open.  
Holden shuffled around the dark room, looking for a light, and when he flicked it on Aria's jaw dropped to the floor. The rotting wooden floors creaked as she walked in and she barely noticed. She was in complete awe. The walls had actually tasteful wallpaper and extremely old, extremely beautiful paintings hung upon them. An old wood fireplace sat in the living room, along with a couch and loveseats. There was a huge and fully stocked bookshelf that stopped at the ceiling and Aria wondered over to it. Holden smirked to himself, knowing she would. Aria had always been quite the bookworm. Aria took a book off the shelf and blew on it, a pile of dust flying into the air, and she laughed in between coughs.

The place looked just as Holden had remembered, not a single thing had seemed to move or change. Holden wondered why no one ever spent time out here. Too many bad or painful memories, he assumed.

"Holden," Aria started, breaking him out of his thoughts "this place is… amazing."  
Holden smirked, "You haven't seen anything yet."

Xxx

The rest of the night was spent with Holden and Aria walking through the house, Aria taking everything in and Holden showing her every nook and cranny. After they had seen just about everything, Aria wondered into the master bedroom's closet and pulled out Tina's grandmother's elegant dresses and her grandfather's old suits and ties. She held them up and Holden smiled and shook his head, already knowing what she was thinking.  
"Would this be totally creepy and inappropriate?" She asked, trying to act as serious as possible.  
Holden paused and brought his hand to his chin, looking up to the ceiling, pretending to actually think about the question. "…Absolutely."  
"So we're totally putting these on, right?"  
"Yup."

Xxx

Aria and Holden ran through the house in Tina's grandparent's clothes acting like absolute children. Playing hide and seek, tag you're it, and pretending to be the rich and elegant. Aria couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun.

But eventually, running got tiresome and they ended up outside the house, on top of Holden's car and trying to the impossible: count stars.

"108, 109, 110- SHIT, I think I counted that one already. What was that one? Maybe 44?"  
Holden only laughed, "Aria you've counted a lot of the same ones already."  
Aria smiled and rolled her eyes, "Fine. But at least I tried."

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the crickets chirp and the sound of each other's breathing, and then Holden broke the silence,

"Aria?"  
"Hm?" She mumbled.  
Holden paused, wondering if he should really ask the question he'd been wondering ever since their first "date". "Why did you go out with that guy?"  
Aria turned on her side, facing him, twisting around in her puffy old lady dress.  
"What?"  
Holden cleared his throat, immediately regretting ever asking the question. "I just never understood. After everything you've told me. I mean, I-I get that you loved him, but…" Holden sighed, not sure where he was going with this anyways. He swallowed his pride and said exactly what he was thinking, "What made him so fucking special?"  
Aria sat up, looked at him for a second, and then sighed. "Honestly?" Holden nodded in response, his hands folded behind his head, still lying on the front of his car.  
She sunk down next to him again, looking up at the sky "I never thought I'd say this out loud… but I made myself believe that he was everything that I wanted. I had made him my "dream guy" in my head. Every negative thing that ever came from us I had made myself turn into a positive."  
Holden turned his head to look at her, "but why?"  
They both felt rain begin to fall, but both ignored it.  
"I wish I knew." Was all Aria replied with.

And after a while the rain began to fall harder, so Holden finally broke the piercing silence.  
"The rains only getting harder, we should probably go inside now."  
Aria didn't reply. Holden mentally cursed himself. _You were having a perfect night with a perfect girl and you and your big mouth had to go ruin everything. Fantastic job._ He started to pull himself up, but Aria touched his arm and stopped him. "No. Just… just stay."  
And Holden did.

They sat in silence. The rain was falling so hard now it was bouncing off the roof of the car. They had given up on trying to keep their eyes open a long time ago, and we're both just sitting there, eyes closed, on top of a car, in the pouring rain, in a deceased couple's attire, in the middle of absolute nowhere. The thought made Aria burst into laughter.

Holden opened his eyes, and turned his head to look at her; blinking the water out of his eyes.  
She never looked more beautiful, and just somehow – he knew what she was laughing about. He started to laugh as well.

And when he laughed along, Aria turned to look at him. When she did – she stopped.  
His hair was matted down to his forehead, soaked to the absolute bone, he was smiling from ear to ear, and his nose was redder than Rudolph's.

It all hit her like a pile of bricks - _Holden was everything she wanted_.

He always had been.  
From day one, he'd stuck by her.  
When she was 7 years old and Logan Parker had told her she had ugly teeth, and while she cried he decked him in the face.  
When she was 13 and got those "ugly" teeth (that he insisted made her even more special) fixed.  
When she moved away and they sent each other touristy post cards and ran up their parent's phone bill by texting each other long distance, having ugly picture contests.  
And now, 15 years later, he was willing to take her away from everything and everyone just to make her forget about one person with nothing in return.

A million of emotions rushed through her, and leaned over him and touched his face. He stopped, and Arias breath hitched in her throat. Holden opened his mouth to speak, but Aria said all he ever needed to know. She leaned down, inches away from his face, and he barely heard her over the rain when she said: "It's always been you."

He was affirmed. He did not feel stupid or lonely or any of those other things he felt when he pondered the thought of Aria. The disdain was nonexistent. And he immediately broke the gap between them and kissed her like he had wanted to do for as long as he could remember.

Xxx

They were now sat by the old fireplace that Holden barely got to start. Dry now, in their own clothes, letting the warmth from the fire seep into their bones. Aria sat between Holden's legs and her damp hair tickled his nose. It was early in the morning, the sun would be breaking soon, but they both couldn't have cared less. They could be sat there, together, for the rest of their days. Just like this.

"Do you know why I love you?" Holden asked her.  
She turned her head, studying him for a moment. "Because I keep your nose clean," she said simply, lifting a finger to pick his nose. He laughed. She always made him laugh.

"No," he began. Holden would take ages. It was her hair. Her eyebrows. Her nose. Her eyes. Her lips. Her teeth. Her collar bones. Her stomach. Her legs, her feet, and her toes. "To be honest, I could find something new to love about you every day." Her laugh. Her fingers. Her hands, her arms, her shoulders. He was infatuated with her. He lusted after her.

He loved her.

Ask anyone; Holden and Aria were made for each other. The only people it surprised was themselves.


End file.
